Post Chinese New Year Confessionand Thanksgiving!!

I had a so so CNY this year. I was so sick and tired that I didn't get to eat any CNY goodies or go around to visit people to enjoy the fun and fellowship. However even then I didn't really remember God during this time! Shame on me! What did I do then?!? Basically I slept and indulge myself with things that would make me feel better. I did prayed to God to make me feel better but to be honest , it wasn't enough.

Thank God for Mum!

She is a God fearing women!

She took care of me for one day!

And that was all it took to made me better.

Sometimes I feel that God's grace and mercy would not be as much as I have received if not for my mom's prayer and love for God!

Exodus 20
The Ten Commandments

1 And God spoke all these words:
2 "I am the LORD your God, who brought you out of Egypt, out of the land of slavery.
3 "You shall have no other gods before [a] me.
4 "You shall not make for yourself an idol in the form of anything in heaven above or on the earth beneath or in the waters below.

5 You shall not bow down to them or worship them; for I, the LORD your God, am a jealous God, punishing the children for the sin of the fathers to the third and fourth generation of those who hate me,

6 but showing love to a thousand {generations} of those who love me and keep my commandments.
7 "You shall not misuse the name of the LORD your God, for the LORD will not hold anyone guiltless who misuses his name.
8 "Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.

9 Six days you shall labor and do all your work,

10 but the seventh day is a Sabbath to the LORD your God. On it you shall not do any work, neither you, nor your son or daughter, nor your manservant or maidservant, nor your animals, nor the alien within your gates.

11 For in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, the sea, and all that is in them, but he rested on the seventh day. Therefore the LORD blessed the Sabbath day and made it holy.
12 "Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the LORD your God is giving you.
13 "You shall not murder.
14 "You shall not commit adultery.
15 "You shall not steal.
16 "You shall not give false testimony against your neighbor.
17 "You shall not covet your neighbor's house. You shall not covet your neighbor's wife, or his manservant or maidservant, his ox or donkey, or anything that belongs to your neighbor."

My Prayer!

Dear Lord,

Thank you for giving me such a great God fearing mum! Forgive me for taking forgranted of you and her sometimes.

In Jesus Name I pray!

Amen!

Pride comes before a downfall

Yesterday I boasted to a student that I have not been sick for a long time.
Even through I have been very busy and had little sleep, I was still ok!!

Guess what!!!

That same night I had really high fever!!!
Until now, I still have fever and all my bone joints are aching!!

Ha ya! Remind me to be humble!!!

Today through does not seem like they have any correlation to anything. Dunno! Maybe I am too sick to meditate....

2 Corinthians 2:14-17 (New International Version)
14But thanks be to God, who always leads us in triumphal procession in Christ and through us spreads everywhere the fragrance of the knowledge of him. 15For we are to God the aroma of Christ among those who are being saved and those who are perishing. 16To the one we are the smell of death; to the other, the fragrance of life. And who is equal to such a task? 17Unlike so many, we do not peddle the word of God for profit. On the contrary, in Christ we speak before God with sincerity, like men sent from God.

Dear Lord!
Sorry for my pride! Please forgive me!
Please heal me! I am in pain!

In Jesus name I pray!
AMEN!!!

Perseverance!

Not even 1month into the new year and I am already wavering in my QT and my on-line journal.

I can easily say that I have been soooooo busy that I had no time. But I know that I am only bluffing myself. If I have time to watch T.V and spend time reading Malaysiakini, I have time to do my QT!

Work will always be there!!
Work will never finish!
One day time will pass me by and I will be old and weak!
Will I only then seek God for help?!?!

I told myself that I was so mentally tired after work and that I have no energy to do QT but I am entitled to rest and watch TV.

So it really takes perseverance to spend time with God no matter what comes my way. There are so many things that yell out for my attention!
Sometimes these things are more tempting to spend time on then my personal time with God!
Does that mean I love God less?!?

James 1:1-8 (New International Version)

1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,

To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.

2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds,

3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance.

4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.

6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Dear Lord,

As I meditate on your words, let it not be only during times of trial that I seek you!
Forgive me Lord that I have not put you first this pass week.
I thank you that you have sustain me in my health especially this week.

Please grant me wisdom in knowing when to work and when to rest in You!

Also as it is my Grandma's birthday today, I want to commit her into your hands! I thank you that you have bless her with such wonderful health all these years even through she is advance in her age. Please grant the desires of her heart!

Please guard my heart that I may not fall into temptation!

In Jesus Name I Pray!

AMEN!

James 1:1-8 (New International Version)
James 1
1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ, To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.
Trials and Temptations 2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

Praise God for an answered prayer!

A week ago I prayed to God to give me strength and success for the Star Education Fair!

PRAISE GOD HE ANSWERS PRAYER!!

MCKL had a very good, productive Fair!

Even through many colleges complain that the crowds were not as large as last years, MCKL still their hands full.

We sign a few student on that weekend and god a lot of enquiries!
My Bosses are happy and so it was a good weekend and I didn't get sick or lose my voice!

Hopefully this will translate into good numbers for the March intake!!

I want to PRAISE GOD also for doubling the student intake this Jan 09 intake compare to last year!!

I'm just glad that my bosses are glad!!!

In every victory, let it be said of me, my sourse of strength, my source of hope....

IN CHRIST ALONE!!

God will take care of it!....I pray!

The traditional thinking among most Chinese people is that one must buy a house and a car before even thinking about marriage!

WHAT?!?! Cannot afford a house ah?!?! How to get married?!?! Sure got problems one!!

I have seen many couples and family break apart even when they have a house.
A house is not a home!
A happy home does not need to be a big house with the latest IKEA furniture!!!

Coming from just below average income with no big inheritance to fall back on at the start of my life is ok for me! I don't mind!

But having expectation of earthly riches as a pre-condition to start a family is just unfair!
Personally I don't care what people think or say!
Unfortunately some people I have to go through to get married have this expectation!!

WHAT DO I DO?!?!
ROB A BANK!?!?!
Play 4D?!?
CHEAT, BRIBE, STEAL?!?!

NO WAY!!!
This is a test for me!
I will rely on God to provide all my needs!
Including a good wife!
I know God has already done so, in fact!

Be comfort my soul with the Word of God!
For there lays the source of my strength and hope!

Matthew 10:27-31 (New International Version)
27What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight;

what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs.

28Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul.

Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell.

29Are not two sparrows sold for a penny[a]?

Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of your Father.

30And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered.

31So don't be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.

My Prayer!

Dear Lord!

I cry to you in this troubled times! As Joanne and I face opposition and hardship, we rely on you for strength and provision for all our needs! Give us wisdom to face this difficulities and grant us victory that we can emerge for this battle without destroying any relantionships. Lord! Do not let the evil one destroy this family but build us up in the love and oneness of your Son Jesus Christ!

In Jesus Name I pray!

AMEN!

The long road back!

I tell you a secret!
I have an addiction I am ashamed of!
I can't tell what it is! But it is a struggle I face everyday!!!
Doing my quiet time helps! But this addiction is a direct battle with my quiet time.
I find it very difficult to return to the Lord every time I fall to my addiction!
I want to run the path of righteousness but it is not easy!
For now (this couple of days I can say the bible verse below)
But I wonder for how long before I fall again?!?

Psalm 119:25-32 (New International Version)
d Daleth

25 I am laid low in the dust;

preserve my life according to your word.
26 I recounted my ways and you answered me;

teach me your decrees.
27 Let me understand the teaching of your precepts;

then I will meditate on your wonders.
28 My soul is weary with sorrow;

strengthen me according to your word.
29 Keep me from deceitful ways;

be gracious to me through your law.
30 I have chosen the way of truth;

I have set my heart on your laws.
31 I hold fast to your statutes, O LORD;

do not let me be put to shame.
32 I run in the path of your commands,

for you have set my heart free.

My Prayer!?!

Dear Lord,

Please set my heart free from the bondages of my addiction!

In Jesus Name I pray!

AMEN!

BaCK aFTER A LONG ABSENT!

I have been busy with the Star Education Fair and After that I had a very important mission to convince certain people of my worthiness.

It has not been easy couple of days! I had a lot of temptations I really had to fight to overcome.
I am glad I did! ...for now!
Sometimes I do cast a jealous eye on people who live lives like there are no consequences in their actions.
Partying, Clubbing, Multiple Girl/Boyfriends, Gambling, Drinking and etc.

I was looking for a house to buy/rent recently (near Sunway) and I was looking at all the nice house and apartments in the area. The houses there are soooooo expensive!!
Prices quoted were something like RM350,000 to RM480,000. The down payment alone cost up to RM75,000!!!!
I don't have RM75,000!
I can't help feel that some of these people who own these houses are have gotten in through illegals or unethical incomes. Yet there are reward with nice big houses!
Here I am, refusing bribes, giving to God and etc and I can't even afford a decent house to start a family.

The verse today reminds me that I am not alone. I guess that helps to know that I am not alone in my struggles!

Habakkuk 1:1-4 (New International Version)
1 The oracle that Habakkuk the prophet received.
Habakkuk's Complaint

2 How long, O LORD, must I call for help, but you do not listen?

Or cry out to you, "Violence!"but you do not save?
3 Why do you make me look at injustice?

Why do you tolerate wrong?

Destruction and violence are before me; there is strife, and conflict abounds.
4 Therefore the law is paralyzed, and justice never prevails.

The wicked hem in the righteous, so that justice is perverted.

I do believe that these people who live like there is no God will face God one day.

And so will I!

Will God remember me on that day?!? I hope so!

Whatever it is, I believe God will reward his people according to His riches and glory!

Maybe not in this life time but He is a just God!

I will have FAITH!

My Prayer!

Dear Lord,

You know the desires of my heart! You know what is best for me! Please show me a good place where I can live and start a family! I commit my wedding plans and my house search into Thy hands!

In Jesus Name I pray!

AMEN!

Coincidence?!? I dunno!

Yesterday I was talking to my future wife about losing weight and I told her I am determine to make this year the year I lose weight!

Today I read the daily bread and the commentary was as below.....
Was it a coincidence?!? I dunno! I like to believe that it is God's way of speaking to me.
I believe God is telling me to rely on Him in and not on my own will power to achieve a task....Including loosing weight!
Hahahahaha!!!!

Typical resolutions in January are to lose weight, exercise more, spend less time at work and more time with family—maybe even stop chatting on the cell phone while driving.
It’s not surprising that we want to change the things in our lives that we’re unhappy about—even though most New Year’s resolutions are kept for no more than 3 weeks.
What if you were to ask God what He wants you to change, improve, or begin this year? He might tell you to:
• Demonstrate more of the fruit of the Spirit in your life, which is “love, joy, peace, longsuffering, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control” (Gal. 5:22-23).
• “Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who . . . persecute you” (Matt. 5:44).
• “Go into all the world and preach the gospel to every creature” (Mark 16:15).
• “Be content with such things as you have” (Heb. 13:5).
• “Walk according to His commandments” (2 John 1:6).
As believers and new creations, we can be free from old patterns and failures. We must ask God to help us live each day in the power of the Holy Spirit. Then we can shed the old and embrace the new (2 Cor. 5:17). — Cindy Hess Kasper
How can we live to please the Lord?By knowing what He says to doAnd trusting in the Spirit’s strengthTo make us into someone new. —Sper
Resolutions are easier to keep when you rely on God

My Prayer!

Dear Lord,

Help me to rely on you always! Forgive me of my pride thinking that I can do things by myself. Help me to be discipline to loose weight (not for vanity purpose) but for health reasons!

Please give me the strength to overcome my addictions!

In Jesus name I pray!

AMEN!

Start of a busy weekend!

I feel guilty but I have no choice!

This is the start of a busy day for me as it is STAR EDUCATION FAIR!

I have be the mover, builder, marketer, and kuli all at one time.

I do not have time to do my QT this morning and I won't go to church either.

MY PRAYER!
Dear Lord,
I am sorry that I can't spend so much personal time with you this weekend.
But I know you are always with me! I praise you and thank you that you have always been with me even through I have not spend time with you.

I thank you that you have given me strength and the health to do my job effectively! Please give me the strength and wisdom to do my job and please grant me success in my job this weekend.

In Christ Alone I place my trust and find my glory in the power of the Cross!
In every victory let it be said of me! My source of strength! My source of hope...in CHRIST ALONE!!!!


Verse of the Day!
These will make war with the Lamb, and the Lamb will overcome them, for He is Lord of lords and King of kings. —Revelation 17:14

Christ is my King and I have a Lord who can overcome all things!
Hallelujah!

I have a patient and loving God!

As I read this passage today I am reminded of what a patient and loving God I have.

The conversation Abraham had with God shows just how patient God is.

I don't think I could get away with this conversation with my earthly father. He'll probably say you're pushing it by the 3rd time.

Still I need to note that God did destroy Sodom in the end. But only because he could not find a single righteous person there any longer.

Woe to me if the day comes when God can no longer is any good in me at all!

Genesis 18:22-33 (New International Version)
22 The men turned away and went toward Sodom, but Abraham remained standing before the LORD. [a]

23 Then Abraham approached him and said: "Will you sweep away the righteous with the wicked?

24 What if there are fifty righteous people in the city? Will you really sweep it away and not spare [b] the place for the sake of the fifty righteous people in it?

25 Far be it from you to do such a thing—to kill the righteous with the wicked, treating the righteous and the wicked alike. Far be it from you! Will not the Judge [c] of all the earth do right?"
26 The LORD said, "If I find fifty righteous people in the city of Sodom, I will spare the whole place for their sake."
27 Then Abraham spoke up again: "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, though I am nothing but dust and ashes,

28 what if the number of the righteous is five less than fifty? Will you destroy the whole city because of five people?" "If I find forty-five there," he said, "I will not destroy it."
29 Once again he spoke to him, "What if only forty are found there?"

He said, "For the sake of forty, I will not do it."

30 Then he said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak. What if only thirty can be found there?"

He answered, "I will not do it if I find thirty there."
31 Abraham said, "Now that I have been so bold as to speak to the Lord, what if only twenty can be found there?"

He said, "For the sake of twenty, I will not destroy it."
32 Then he said, "May the Lord not be angry, but let me speak just once more. What if only ten can be found there?"

He answered, "For the sake of ten, I will not destroy it."
33 When the LORD had finished speaking with Abraham, he left, and Abraham returned home.

My Prayer
Dear Heavenly Father,
I praise you and thank you for your grace and love to be all this years even through I have been disobedient to you. I thank you for giving me chance after chance after chance. I pray that I will not take forgranted of your mercy and grace to me. Please give me the strength to not disappoint you......so often.

In Jesus Name I Pray...
AMEN

Start from the Beginning!

I have titled my journal "The Prodigal Clown's Journal" because I see it as my slow journey back to my heavenly Father, of whom I have been very very far from all these years.

Yes I still considered myself a Christian and I believe in Him but in terms of obedience that is a whole different story.

The prodigal son had always believe he has a father. But he just choose not to listen to him. Kinda of like me lah!

I still do have my bad habits and my addictions I struggle to break. But I do want to return to the arms of my heavenly Father who has been so faithful and gracious to be all these years (even through I have been a lousy child).

This is why I am very encourage by today's reading on my daily bread. At the very beginning of my new journey with Christ (again), He reminds me to return to the simple childlike faith and ask God for forgiveness .

Matthew 18:1-5 (New International Version)

The Greatest in the Kingdom of Heaven

1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
2He called a little child and had him stand among them.

3And he said: "I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

4Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven.
5"And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

My Prayer!

Dear Heavenly Father,

Thank You for your love to me and for all the blessing you have given to me even through I have not been an obidient child of yours. Please help me to come back to you in simple childlike faith and to obidient to you just like a child will have faith and be obidient to the Father.

Please give me the dicipline to spend time with you everyday!

In Jesus name I pray,

AMEN!

God has a funny sense of humor!

Sometimes I think God can be the biggest clown of all! He has always have the best sense of humor. Through sometimes I don't quite like His humor.

On my very first journal entry I went to Our Daily Bread to read and I get.....

He who restrains his lips is wise. —Proverbs 10:19

I wonder if God is trying to tell me ro becareful of what I write in this Journal or to make this Journal private!

Nontheless I found the verse below very applicable to be as I like to shoot off my mouth before I think sometimes.

Proverbs 10:11-21 (New International Version)
11 The mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life,

but violence overwhelms the mouth of the wicked.
12 Hatred stirs up dissension,

but love covers over all wrongs.
13 Wisdom is found on the lips of the discerning,

but a rod is for the back of him who lacks judgment.
14 Wise men store up knowledge,

but the mouth of a fool invites ruin.
15 The wealth of the rich is their fortified city,

but poverty is the ruin of the poor.
16 The wages of the righteous bring them life,

but the income of the wicked brings them punishment.
17 He who heeds discipline shows the way to life,

but whoever ignores correction leads others astray.
18 He who conceals his hatred has lying lips,

and whoever spreads slander is a fool.
19 When words are many, sin is not absent,

but he who holds his tongue is wise.
20 The tongue of the righteous is choice silver,

but the heart of the wicked is of little value.
21 The lips of the righteous nourish many,

but fools die for lack of judgment.

MY PRAYER!
Dear Lord!
Forgive me of my lack of judgement and pride!
Please give me wisdom and the discipline to walk close with you and not to shame you!

In Jesus name I pray!

AMEN!

Why this Blog!?

One of my new year resolution is to start my own Spiritual Journal. It takes a lot of Discipline to write a Journal. However I found myself quite consistent in writing my blog. So I thought why don't I combine the 2.

So to fulfill one of my New Year Resolution. The Prodigal Clown's Journal is born!

Why Prodigal Clown's Journal?!?
Because I see myself as a child of God that has wonder off by himself for so long and desprately desires to return to the arms of his heavenly Father but is struggling with the temptations of the world!

Secondly because Prodigal Son is normal and nothing special. But since I am a clown and goof off a lot I thought it would be appropriate to call it a Clown's Journal.
More unique lah!

Who is it for?!?
First and foremost it is for myself!

Secondly it may be for family and friends....throught I am not sure if it is agood idea at this point of time!

So this is my promise to God! That I will do my best this year (2009)to spend more time with Him and to write about it here in these pages of...
The Prodigal Clown's Journal!